Metta in Sanskrit means loving-kindness, active interest in others. I am always telling my children to show each other loving-kindness, to be nice. I also try and teach them to do the same when they step out of the front door to other people. But I have realised, I do not put in the same effort to teach my children; that before we are kind to others we need to be kind to ourselves.
I have started to look into why this is.
In the Western World we are taught that when we think about ourselves, we are being selfish, narcissistic and quite frankly not a nice person. This is not the message that is taught in the Eastern World. Here they believe by showing loving-kindness to ourselves first, we can then be better people to others. I believe there is something in this.
How many occassions have we wished we could have time for ourselves, to have the ability to say no
to people or to do what is right for us. I know I have!
So, how about we start from today.....to put ourselves first every now and again. When work ask you to stay on later to do that one last task, say no. When you want to have a duvet day.....do it. And if you are feeling that things are not right for you. It is ok to say so, to honour your feelings, to put yourself first. I am not saying that you cannot help others. But when we are compassionate to ourselves first, we have a better understanding of how others are feeling.
Lastly, remember you are human. We make mistakes and balls up sometimes, we make the wrong decision or action but so does everyone else. For the person who states they are perfect, I would recommend you might need to look a little deeper. So, show compassion to yourself when we do mess up.
As for me......
I am going to
tell my children to love themselves, that it is ok to make mistakes - as that is a way we to learn. I also show compassion for myself by saying "Sod it" and have the last piece of chocolate cake, because I like it and I deserve it.
And so it is
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